Who Owns My Heart?
by Scarlett O'Hara1992
Summary: Bella is bitten by Victoria during the Eclipse battle. But when she wakes up she doesn't know who her heart belongs to. Will she stay with Edward or will her heart be captured by the doctors hands? R
1. Bring Me To Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own of the Twilight characters just the plot.**

Who owns my heart?

Chapter 1- Bring Me To Life

Burning.

The flames threatened to engulf me.

Burning. Forever burning.

Has it been days? Weeks? Months? Years? I don't know. But it is never ending. That is when it began to get worse. The flames grew hotter and hotter. Forever burning. Then all of a sudden it stopped. I felt my heart's last beat. My eyes flew open as I heard a door open and the air swirl with movement. I sat up way faster than I thought was possible, only to feel a pair of arms wrap around me like a steel vice.

"Bella." he whispered in my ear. Edward. I had been waiting for this moment since Phoenix. Since James. Since I felt truly helpless. Now I would be with Edward forever. I looked into his gold eyes and waited for the spark. I waited for my universe to move. It didn't. _What is going on? He is supposed to be my mate. Together forever and ever_. At this moment in time that seemed like a prison sentence. Forever bound to a man that I obviously didn't love. A man I was fond of, but no longer held my heart. Then I heard a throat being cleared. My head shot around to see Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie but no Esme and Carlisle. They all had smiles on their faces bar Jasper. He looked as though he was going to pounce on me if I moved an inch. I suppose he was just expecting me to jump up and kill everyone in a ten mile radius. I don't see why. I felt perfectly in control of my body. No burning desire to slaughter people. I felt the burning sensation in the back of my throat but it was easy to ignore.

"Are you thirsty?" Edward said, looking concerned. Could he still not read my mind? _Edward! _Nothing. Not even a blink. I guess I was still shielded from his prying mind.

"Not really." I replied. "I can feel it at the back of my throat but it's not unbearable." Alice ran over to me.

"You have to look at yourself in the mirror, Bella. You look sensational." I laughed at her.

"Is that even possible with you guys around? I'm in the shadows compared to your beauty." She dragged me in front of the floor length mirror unprepared for what I saw. Staring back at me was a beautiful stranger. There seemed to be hardly any similarities. My hair was still the same chocolate colour and my lips were still the same heart shape but otherwise I was very different. My skin was even paler. I never thought that it was possible to have skin paler than mine. Alice had dress me in a deep blue silk dress that contrasted the paleness of my skin. It came to just above me knee allowing me to see my toned legs and delicate feet. Even though my family was in the room with me I couldn't help like feeling something was missing. Then it clicked. "Where's Esme and Carlisle?" They all seemed uncomfortable. They averted their gazes trying to avoid eye contact. _What are they not telling me? _"What? What happened?" The last thing I remembered was the fight with the newborns, Edward was fighting Riley and Victoria had taken this chance to bit me. The pain came rushing back as the memory consumed me. The more I thought about it the more intense the pain seemed to feel. My mind returned to the present and the matter in hand. What had happened since I was bitten? It had to have been only a few days. Edward said that the change takes three days at a maximum. "Someone tell me." They were still silent so I jumped up and stomped on the floor. "Now!" I growled. Anger consuming me. Jasper moved to my side and calmed me down. They all looked so hurt and torn up inside. Something dreadful must have happened.

"Esme's dead." My head spun around to the open door to see a heartbroken Carlisle. He slouched against the door frame in dark slacks and a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His face projected a million emotions. Hurt. Loss. Guilt. His words wouldn't sink in no matter how real they seemed. Esme can't be dead. She's the glue that holds this family together, she could never be gone.

"What? She can't be." I had never wanted to be able to cry so badly. I moved over to Carlisle in the doorway. "Carlisle?" I whispered. His eyes shot to mine. My universe crumbled. There were fireworks in my eyes. It can't be. Carlisle can't be my mate. I now know what Carlisle meant when he said vampires were damned. I pulled him into my embrace to break our eye contact. His arms flew around my waste as if he was holding on for dear life.

That was the moment my world changed. that was the moment my happiness began. That was the moment that I realised that I was in love with _Dr. Carlisle Cullen._

**A/N: Hope you are hooked. Tell me what you think =]**


	2. War

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the twilight characters, just the plot.**

**This is for EdwardsBedbreaker1 who suggested I write this.**

Chapter 2- War

Carlisle's POV

_Esme…_

My dear wife was gone forever. If only she hadn't stood in the way. She always had such a good heart. That girl never stood a chance against the Volturi, why did Esme feel that she had to stick up for her? Why couldn't she have just stood aside? Esme had always felt strongly about children, especially seeing as she wasn't able to have any of her own. I suppose she felt responsible for the girl, even though she had only known her for an hour at the most.

"Carlisle?" Edward's voice hit me like a train. I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard my son approach. "I don't blame you for not noticing me, Carlisle. You are having to deal with a nightmare. I couldn't imagine losing Bella."

"Yes," was all I could reply.

"Carlisle, I think she's about ready to wake up." He seemed overjoyed. I don't see why. He has damned Bella to this life. "Carlisle, we had no choice. The venom had already spread, we couldn't extract it like last time."

"Sorry, Edward. I just-"

"It's okay Carlisle. I understand."

"Thank you." He looked at me expectantly. "I'll be up in a second." With that he raced of to his beloved Bella. How cruel the fates have been to take away my Esme and damn Bella to the life of an immortal. I made my way up the stairs slowly, even for a human. I could hear the end of Bella's transformation getting nearer. The pain would be at its worst at the moment. I wish I could make it better for her in some way. No one deserves to go through that kind of pain. Especially not Bella. She's always been gracious about us. I reached the top of the stairs only to be attacked by the smell off freesias. Esme's favourite flower. I sat down on the top step and sobbed. Sobbed for my dead wife. For my future without her. For my inability to see a future that does not contain her. I could hear Bella and Alice talking about who was more beautiful.

"You look sensational." I heard Alice say.

"Is that even possible with you guys around? I'm in the shadows compared to your beauty." If only she understood. It's merely a mechanism to lure in our prey. There was a moments silence before I heard the dreaded question that I had been expecting since she first under went the transformation. "Where's Esme and Carlisle?" Silence. It seemed no one wanted to answer. "What? What happened?" Still no one moved to tell her. Perhaps I should. I stood up and kept my eyes locked on the floor as I shuffled towards Edward's room. "Someone tell me." She was getting angry now. Before I could get there I heard a massive crash. "Now!" I leaned against the frame of the open door and answered her pleas.

"Esme's dead." It cut deep into my heart to actually acknowledge this fact. My Esme was dead. I could feel the pain etched into my face as I thought about a future without her. I zoned out and immersed myself in the memories of my deceased wife.

"Carlisle?" The shock was enough to make my eyes shoot up to see what had startled me. My eyes came to rest on a pair of bright red orbs. That was the moment that my universe fell from under me. What was going on? No matter how hard I tried I couldn't take my eyes away from her beautiful face. My world seemed to orbit hers and it didn't feel as though I could change it. I can't do this. What about my family? What about Esme? I can't just forget her. But I can't stay away from Bella. Oh no. I've seen this before. Alice and Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett. Bella is _my_ mate… not Edward's. If there is a God then he was punishing me. Tormenting me. Making my life a living hell. I can't take Bella away from Edward. But at the same time I can't let him have her. She pulled me into her embrace and I couldn't seem to fight her. I wanted to be wrapped in her arms, to leave my scent on her, to mark her as my own. But she is Edward's. I was so confused.

The only thing I was sure about was that I was in love with _Isabella Swan._

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed Carlisle's POV. I wasn't entirely happy with the end product, tell me what you think and if I should continue. =]**


	3. Halo

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the twilight characters…. Although I wouldn't mind a bit of Carlisle :P**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 3- Halo

Bella's POV

What am I thinking? Hunting _alone_ with Carlisle. _Carlisle. _What if I can't hide my feelings? What if he realises that I'm in love with him? It would kill Edward. It would make things awkward between Carlisle and Edward, me and Edward and me and Carlisle. What would Esme think if she was here right now? I was like a daughter to her. This would tear the family apart. I can't be selfish. If I give in to my feelings there will be nothing left of the Cullen clan. I will just have to try very hard to conceal my feelings when I'm around Carlisle. I can do that… _can't I?_

I jumped out of the patio doors from Edward's room and ran off into the woods to meet Carlisle. I followed his _oh so gorgeous_ scent and discovered him sitting on a rock with his head in his hands. He looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb him. But we had to go hunting. "Carlisle?" He noticeably jumped as the sound of my voice. He spun around on the rock and faced me.

"Isabella." he whispered through his _oh so kissable _lips. It took me a while to realise I was staring at them, only then because Carlisle cleared his throat. "Shall we go?" he asked. If I was still human my skin would be as red as a tomato by now. How did he have this power over me? I'd follow him anywhere. To the ends of the Earth and back again if need be. He ran off at a reasonable speed and I soon caught up with him. Running with Carlisle felt as though I was on Cloud Nine. Nothing could stop us. Except… perhaps… a tree. _BANG!_ I know it didn't hurt, but it was enough to make me fall on my ass. "Oh my god, Bella. Are you alright?" he said, a concerned look in his eyes. I started laughing. I'm a vampire now but I'm still clumsy. How did that happen?

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said as I pushed myself up from the floor. "I wasn't looking where I was going." _I was focussed on you, you gorgeous, manly annoyingly off-limits distraction. _He seemed a bit unsure of my answer.

"What got you so distracted?" he asked.

"I thought I saw an angel." _Turns out I saw a god _I wanted to add.

"An angel? You really are strange Bella." he laughed. "You have a very wacky faith. But then again I definitely believe in angels." he said whilst looking deep into my eyes as if he was searching for something hidden in the depths.

"Really?" I asked as we began to walk through the trees. "How come you believe in angels?"

"I've always sworn that I've been in the presence of angels. Not all angels have wings and a halo." His words shocked me.

"I've only been in the presence of one angel." Carlisle turned to smile at me.

"Oh. And who would that be?"

"Esme." I whispered. His smile soon faded after I mentioned his late wife. "I'm sorry for your loss, Carlisle. But she truly was an angel." A smile returned to his face but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yes, she was." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a stop and turned him around to face me. I placed a hand on each cheek to pull his face up to obtain eye contact. His golden eyes locked onto my crimson orbs.

"I'll always be here for you, Carlisle. If you ever need a hug, a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to. I know I've not been in the family as long as everyone else but I want you to be able to feel comfortable around me. It means so much to me." _Okay… Bella… you can stop touching him now. I think you've said way too much. Let go. _I can't let go. _You have to. Let go. _I made to remove my hands from his cheeks but his hands grasped mine and kept them pressed firmly against his smooth, marble exterior.

"Don't." Just one word. One word and I was hooked. Hanging on his every word. "Isabella…" he whispered. I crashed my lips against his and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer to me. His lips moved passionately against my own whilst his arms snaked around my waist grinding me against his chest. I gasped at the closeness. This seemed to pull Carlisle out of our fantasy as he pushed me away.

"Sorry Bella. I don't know what came over me." The guilt in his eyes consumed me.

"No, Carlisle. It's entirely my fault, I was bewitched by a god." I confessed before I continued walking towards an open meadow filled with deer. His face seemed shocked at my outburst, but he soon hid his thoughts from his face as he followed me towards the meadow. I lunged for a deer but the only thing I could think about was how perfectly our lips fit together. How perfectly our bodies moulded together. How perfect this moment seemed until he had a sudden realisation for what he was doing. What stopped him? Edward? Esme? Or perhaps the fact that he sees me as a daughter? Oh my god! What if Alice saw? What if Edward can see it in Carlisle's mind? What will he think?

A sudden realisation washed over me as I realised I would give up everything just to be with Carlisle. I'd give up Edward, Alice, Charlie, Renee, absolutely everything just to have Carlisle feel the same way as I do about him.

The impossibility of that happening tore a hole in my chest that only one person can fix. _Carlisle Cullen._

**A/N: Good? Bad? Tell me what you think. R&R please guys =]**


	4. Haunted

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the twilight characters.**

**Sorry that it's been so long since I've uploaded. It's been absolutely crazy with exams and uni things. But I hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

Chapter 4- Haunted

It has been a week since I went hunting with Carlisle and he has barely said two words to me. I can understand why he is ignoring me. I feel so guilty. Edward doesn't seem to have figured out what happened. He seems just as in love with me as ever. I feel guilty for leading him on. But I can't tell him the truth. If he finds out who knows what will happen. On the other hand, I want to be with Carlisle. That is the biggest thorn in my side. I love Carlisle, I want Carlisle, I need Carlisle. But we cannot be together and that's what hurts the most.

"Bella." His whisper brought me out of my thoughts.

"Yes?" I spun round to see Edward leaning against the doorframe to our room.

"Something is wrong with Carlisle." Oh no! He's starting to realise that something is going on. "He's hardly ever around, and when he is he's always reciting Shakespeare."

"Perhaps he's just trying to keep his mind off of the recent events." I said trying to point Edward in another direction.

"Yes but it's not healthy to grieve on his own. He needs to spend time with us so we can help him move on." Edward was beginning to piss me off.

"He's just lost his wife, Edward! It must be so difficult for him. If this is the way he chooses to grieve then, so be it. We should support him."

"But he's constantly quoting Shakespeare. He's hiding something." Edward glared at me.

"Have you ever thought that he doesn't want you to know what he's thinking? This is why he isn't around so much, he doesn't want you constantly being in his head. Just leave him alone and allow him to grieve. If he wants you to help him, he will ask you. Now stay out of his head!" He seemed shocked at my defence of Carlisle and my warning to leave him alone. I spun on the spot and ran out of the house and through the field behind it. I jumped over the brook and sped through the forest trying to find some sort of solace. The cool breeze helped calm my mood and the feeling of freedom increased the faster I ran. I had to get away. Away from Forks. Away from Edward. Away from everything. I don't know how long I ran for, but a vast lake lay in my path. I slowed down to a human pace and stopped by the water. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Why can't I just be with Carlisle? This whole mating thing was driving me crazy. It's not that I chose this to happen, I just need to have Carlisle around me all the time, I can't control it. The frustration took over me and I let out a blood-curdling screech. Why is it that nothing ever goes right in the world of Bella Swan? It was like I was being punished for existing.

That was when I smelt it… smelt him. "Carlisle?" I whispered, spinning round to where the smell originated from.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" he asked as he emerged from the trees.

"I had to get away."

"Why here?" He seemed to be annoyed at my presence.

"I just ran. I didn't know where I would end up. Why are you here? And where is 'here'?" He sighed.

"Near the Canadian border. And I needed to get away. I've had things on my mind." I moved closer to him.

"We need to talk." He seemed to tense when these words left my lips. "I know you've been ignoring me." He stood looking at me, trying to convey his feelings towards the situation. But instead of talking he turned on the spot and retreated to the woods. "Carlisle! Where are you going?" He didn't reply. So I followed him into the woods, my blue silk dress blowing in the breeze. Soon a log cabin became visible through the trees. I approached the front door to find it ajar. I pushed it open and stepped into the entrance hall. My eyes searched the living room off to the right, where I saw Carlisle sat in front of an open fire, the only source of light in the room. I slowly made my way into the living room and rounded the couch before kneeling down next to Carlisle. He seemed to tense up at my presence by his side. What is going on? "Carlisle?" His head spun so quickly that no human would have seen it. His piercing eyes seemed to look into my soul as he looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean by that, Bella?"

"There is something going on between us. What is it?"

"I don't know what you mean." He was beginning to piss me off.

"Yes you do," I growled, "so just answer my question. What is going on?" He sighed in defeat.

"I think that we are mated."

"Well that explains everything." He looked at me, confusion in his eyes. "I hate it when you're not around, it's like I always need to feel your presence."

"Yes." he agreed, not seeming to thrilled about it.

"But how did this happen? I've got Edward," I said without much conviction, " and you had Esme."

"You don't choose your mate, it chooses you. It is nigh impossible to stay away from them."

"You're managing just fine." I said quietly, with a hint of sadness which reflected in my eyes.

"I'm fighting a losing battle, Bella. Do you know how hard it is for me to stay away from you? I can't give in. I will not disrespect Esme like that, and I will not tear this family apart. Even if we are in agony over this, we cannot give in." I involuntarily inched closer to him. "Bella, stop."

"I can't. I'm drawn to you. I need you, Carlisle. You are the only thing that matters." He visibly flinched at these words.

"Bella, I won't be able to control myself much longer, even I have my limits."

"I can't stop. I want you and only you Carlisle." I leaned closer and closer until our lips were only an inch apart. "Forever." His lips crashed onto mine and I felt like I was home. My hands wrapped around his neck as he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me flush against his body. Our bodies moulded like they were made for each other and our lips were in perfect sync. He gently pushed me down onto the white fur rug, whilst his hands trailed down my sides. He detached his lips and his tongue searched my neck before moving up to my ear, eliciting a moan as he sucked on my earlobe.

"Isabella," he whispered, "_my_ Isabella." This admission caused me to release a moan of excitation, which didn't go unnoticed as he proceeded to rip my dress away from my skin. What used to be my blue silk dress cascaded to the floor forming a blue pool in the firelight. "You are so beautiful," he whispered as he looked down at my half naked form. I cringed under his gaze as I lay in my blue lace lingerie. I tried to use my hands to cover myself up, but Carlisle pinned them above my head. "Don't. You are so beautiful. You don't need to hide yourself from me. I want to see everything. Touch everything. Taste everything." I suddenly felt relaxed as he scooped me up in his arms. My hands moved to his chest as I proceeded to rip his shirt from his perfectly muscled torso, to reveal his pale chest with a hint of blond chest hair. My fingers trailed across his chest as Carlisle growled urging me on. I unzipped his black trousers and pushed them off his hips as he stood up and stepped out of them, chucking them across the room before rejoining me on the rug.

"I need you Carlisle." I moaned as he freed me from my underwear before removing his own. He crawled on top of me and placed himself in the cradle of my thighs. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he placed himself at my entrance.

"You are mine." With one swift thrust he buried himself deep within me. I moaned his name as he pulled out before thrusting again. My hips danced to the rhythm that he had set up bringing us closer to our peaks. His hand palmed my breast as he rubbed and kneaded it, before taking the now hardened peak in between his forefinger and thumb and squeezing it, which caused my body to shake under his as I screamed due to the pleasure he was enticing within me. His hand then slowly drifted south as he began to rub my folds bringing me closer to the edge. "So beautiful." he groaned. With one more deep thrust he pushed me over the edge taking him with me. We shook violently in each others arms as he collapsed on top of me.

"That was wonderful, Carlisle." I admitted when my breathing returned to normal. He rolled off of me and pulled me into his embrace as I lay my head on his chest and watch the fire glow.

"It shouldn't have happened, Bella." I raised my head and looked into his eyes. He must have seen the concern and hurt in them because he added, "But I'm glad it did. But now that we've mated, we cannot be apart. I won't be able to survive without you." A smile graced my lips.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't even if I wanted to. Which I don't." His hand wrapped around the back of my neck pulling me into a passionate yet tender kiss. I traced my tongue along his bottom lip begging for entrance which he readily accepted. Our tongues danced to their own rhythm as we gave in to our feelings. I pulled back and whispered, "I love you, Carlisle." There was a long pause as he looked into my eyes.

"Bella…"

**DUN! DUN! DUN! What will Carlisle say to that? Hope you enjoyed. R&R please!**


	5. Who Owns My Heart?

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Twilight Characters.**_

_Previously…_

_"I love you, Carlisle." There was a long pause as he looked into my eyes._

_"Bella…"_

Chapter Five- Who Owns My Heart? 

Here it is. The sign of rejection. He would never hurt his family for his own happiness. Always sacrificing himself for them. "Will you marry me?" Shock washed over me. He couldn't be serious. My eyes locked onto his butterscotch orbs and saw the love I felt for him mirror there.

"Excuse me?"

"Marry me. I can't live without you. I need to have you by my side for eternity. We belong together." I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes." I pulled him in for a passionate kiss so that I could convey all my love for him. "A million times yes." His eyes lit up at my answer.

"Oh my Isabella. You have made me infinitely happy." He pulled me into his embrace and made slow, passionate love to me. We lay in each others arms hours later, the fire nearly faded out, just rejoicing in each others presence.

"We need new clothes." I stated to Carlisle.

"There's some upstairs." He said before standing up and grabbing my hand, pulling me to the stairs. As we reached the first floor there were five doors branching off from the main corridor. Carlisle pointed to the first door on the left. "That's Alice and Jasper's room. I'm sure she won't mind if you borrow anything. I opened the door to reveal a room with magnolia walls and cream carpet. Photo frames littered the walls and a four poster bed took up a lot of floor space. I noticed a door on the left and opened it to come face to face with Alice's walk-in closet. I think Alice's closet looked more like a mall than any normal closet. It didn't take long to pick out a dress closely resembling my original dress. I slipped it on foregoing underwear, and planned to put some on when back at the house. Whilst smoothing out the silk of the skirt I was encompassed by two strong arms.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." I sighed. He took my hand and we ran down the stairs and out the door before Carlisle locked it, then raced each other to the house laughing and joking all the way. We burst out into the clearing next to the house to be faced with a shocked Emmett and Jasper restraining a very angry Edward. Carlisle grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him.

"Get your hands off her!" She's mine!"

"Bella is not property, Edward."

"She is my mate!" Edward growled.

"No I'm not." I stated. "I'm Carlisle's mate. We weren't planning it and we tried to fight it, but we couldn't stay away. I need him. He's my mate, my fiancé and I love him."

"Fiancé? You can't marry him! You are mine, Bella! He can't have you!"

"I used to be yours Edward, but not anymore. I love you, but it is nowhere near what I feel for Carlisle." I turned to look at my fiancé. "He makes me feel complete."

"But you can't love him! You and I are perfect together."

"And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays. I love him because he's him not because society expects it. We are meant for each others. It's fate. I'm sorry that we've hurt you Edward but I can't change things. I'm marrying Carlisle. And we are going to be happy together."

"That's what you think." Edward sneered before running off into the trees. A sob racked through me as the threat lingered in the air from my first love. I knelt down on the grass trying to understand what had just happened.

"How did he find out?" I heard Carlisle ask.

"Alice had a vision of you proposing. He saw it and went ape shit." replied Jasper. "He was on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Shock, anger, disgust, hurt and confusion to name a few."

"I wanted to tell him, I just didn't know how Bella felt and I didn't want to take her away from him." I could here the sadness in Carlisle's voice. After all Edward was his first companion in this life. Edward's his son. And my feelings had torn them apart. I tore this family apart single-handedly. If I hadn't have been so adamant on finding the truth out about Edward, I never would have known they were vampires. If I hadn't known they were vampires, I wouldn't have met Victoria. If I hadn't met Victoria then she wouldn't hate me. If she didn't hate me she wouldn't have built an army. If she hadn't built an army Esme would still be alive. If Esme was still alive then Carlisle would be with her. If I hadn't met the Cullens then they would still be a happy family with Esme still alive and Edward wouldn't have run off. If I hadn't come along Carlisle would still have his wife and son. I've ruined his life. My body was overcome with guilt as I picked myself up.

"Bella," Jasper whispered, "this isn't your fault. You can't help who you fall for." My eyes locked onto his and I saw the sincerity in them.

"If I had never met you then you would all still be a happy family. This is all my fault." I confessed. As soon as I'd said it I felt two strong arms wrap around me.

"This is not your fault. If I had never met you then I wouldn't feel as happy as I do now. Yes I loved Esme and I always will but she wasn't my mate. It was only a matter of time before my mate came along and it just so happened to be you. We can't pick who we are mated with, it just happens. It's fate. I love you, Bella. You can't blame yourself for something you couldn't control."

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I love you. I just can't help but feel guilty." I felt a wave of calm wash over me, "Thank you Jasper." I then looked at Emmett, my brother bear, who had remained silent throughout the altercation. "Emmett?" His eyes flickered before locking onto mine. "How do you feel about this?"

He sighed, "You'll always be my little sis, even if you are marrying my dad." He pulled a funny face before laughing his usual Emmett laugh.

"This is going to make Rosalie hate me even more." I bowed my head wondering why she hated me in the first place.

"I don't hate you." I raised my head to be faced with the blonde goddess. "I don't particularly like you. I know you were going to change when you wanted to which made me envy you. You shouldn't give up your human life. But now you are one of us. With Esme and Edward gone I think we should at least try and get along and maybe someday we can be friends." I stood with my mouth hanging open completely shocked by what she had said.

"Wow. I'd really like that Rosalie." She smiled in acknowledgement.

"Wedding details!" shouted Alice who had appeared next to Jasper.

"Whatever you want Alice." I said giving her free reign over the wedding, "Except I want to pick the dresses." Alice's face went blank and she seemed to leave her body and disappear for a few seconds.

"Ooooo great taste Bella. This is going to be so much fun." She bounced up and down on the spot.

I thought about it for a moment remembering what Edward said. "Or my worst nightmare."

**A/N: ooooo what's Edward going to do? Let me know what you think. R&R =]**

**The first person to find the quote and tell me who wrote it will have the next chapter dedicated to them. Good hunting!**


	6. It's A Nice Day For A White Wedding

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters just this plot.**

**This is dedicated to ****year princess ****who guessed the quote and author correctly.**

Chapter 6- It's a Nice Day For a White Wedding

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. My wedding day was to be remembered for the rest of my life. But as I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn't help but feel like it was going to be a total disaster. Alice hadn't seen anything, but that is not to say that a last minute decision can't occur and ruin this wonderful day. I felt butterflies take up camp in my stomach as I slipped into my white dress. A white silk skirt with a white silk and lace bodice with lace cap sleeves. A white silk belt accentuated my waist. Alice had curled my hair leaving it down and applied a nice natural look for my make up. I had to admit I looked pretty.

"You look beautiful, baby." My mum had not stopped crying since I started getting ready this morning.

"Thanks Mum." She wasn't too happy about me marrying Carlisle especially seeing as how he is Edward's father and how not that long ago I was head over heels in love with Edward. And also because of Carlisle's age. But when she saw how happy I was she was thrilled for me.

"It's time!" Alice squeaked, her green silk bridesmaid dress accentuated her beauty and made her look absolutely stunning. She bounced up and down on the spot.

"I better go and find my seat. Be happy baby. I love you." My mum then left the room.

"You look so beautiful, Bella."

"Thanks, Alice." I shifted under her gaze.

"Ready kiddo?" Charlie said as he walked into the room. As soon as his eyes fell on me he stopped breathing. "Bella?" he whispered.

"Yeah, it's me dad." I chuckled.

"You look so… I mean that dress is just so…" he continued to trip over his words for another minute before I cut in.

"Thanks dad." I walked over to him. "Let's get this show on the road." He offered me his arm which I took as he lead me out of the bedroom. We descended the stairs before walking out through the patio doors into the garden. Alice had out done herself. I was met by white silk tents with white roses everywhere and white chairs occupied by family and friends, although I didn't know anyone on Carlisle's side apart from the Cullens. That was when I saw him. My future husband, soul mate and life long companion. Our eyes locked onto each others. I seemed to float down the aisle as I stepped closer to my destiny. Carlisle reached out his hand to me which I gladly took as he pulled me to him. The priests words passed in a blur as I stared into Carlisle's butterscotch eyes. I vaguely remember saying "I do" and watching Carlisle say "I do" but I was to enraptured by how handsome he looked in his tuxedo. Before I knew it, he was leaning in to give me our first kiss as husband and wife. I felt his soft lips mould to mine as we poured our love into it.

"It seems I'm too late." I think if my heart was still beating it would have skipped a beat when I heard those five words. I spun round to see Edward walking down the aisle towards me and Carlisle. "You seem surprised to see me, Bella." A smirk was plastered on his face as he grew closer and closer. He stopped about a foot in front of me. "I think we should talk." He walked back down the aisle and slowly made his way into the woods. I turned to Carlisle who was pleading me with his eyes not to go.

"I have to do this. It's the only way that he will leave us alone so that we can be happy." I stared into those eyes that I loved so much. "I love you." I placed a quick kiss on his lips and took off down the aisle. I followed Edward's scent into the woods and eventually found him stood in a clearing facing away from me.

"Bella." he whispered as he sniffed the air. "You smell delectable." Before I had time to register he wrapped me in his steel embrace. "Parting is such sweet sorrow. How I've missed you." he whispered as he sniffed my neck.

"Edward I'm a married woman now. This is unacceptable behaviour." I protested as I pushed him back. He looked at me defiantly.

"It doesn't matter who you've married, you will always be mine. You are my property. I own you. You will do as I tell you. I'm your mate."

"No you're not. Carlisle is my mate. And I am not your property, I am no ones property." He Spun me round and pressed his chest to my back. His hand slipped down the front of my dress and he cupped my breast. His other hand cupped my most intimate area. I tried to push him away.

"You are mine. And I will take what I want."

"Get off!" He sneered at this.

"Oh I will get off." he winked.

**A/N: Well? What do you think? Pictures of the dress are on my profile.**


	7. Numb

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

**WARNING: CONTAINS RAPE**

Chapter 7- Numb

It was as if I left my body. As if he was violating someone else. I heard the tearing of my wedding dress and saw the torn bits of white fabric float in the breeze like snowflakes. I didn't know that it was possible for vampires to go into shock. Before I could realize the full extent of what was happening, Edward had pushed me onto the floor and was pinning me down with his hands and legs. I whimpered in protest has he crashed his lips down onto mine. He moaned. "Oh how I have missed your lips." he whispered in my ear before licking it and biting down on my earlobe. I screamed and tried to push him off me to no avail. "Scream all you want my love, no one can hear you." he sneered. I felt the cold earth mould to my frame as Edward pushed me harder into the ground. His hand slid up the inside of my right thigh causing me too shudder with repulsion. His snapped my lace panties and threw them away. "Now to claim what's mine."

"You may take this body but it will not be me!" I screeched at him. He thrusted into my tiny body with more force than I thought possible. I screamed as loud as my voice would allow me, my throat getting choked up on venom restricting my airways. Edward continued to thrust and grunt as he hovered over me. I closed my eyes and begged that this was just a dream, but I knew that that wasn't possible.

"Mine!" he grunted as he sped up his thrusts. That was when I heard it. A low growl. Before I knew anything Edward was ripped off of me as I was pulled up and into a pair of arms that I soon realized belonged to Rosalie. I was too busy watching my husband pinning Edward to the ground to even wonder why Rosalie was the one holding me. Carlisle had Edward by the throat and was growling in his face whilst being flanked by Jasper and Emmett.

"How dare you touch my Bella?" shouted Carlisle. My usually calm husband had blew a gasket. "You don't deserve the life I gave you." Then Carlisle proceeded to pull off Edward's head whilst Jasper and Emmett each pulled and arm off. They quickly set fire to Edward and I watched as purple smoke rose into the sky. It was watching the purple flecks fly away that I drifted into the crushing black abyss of numbness.

Carlisle's POV

I only saw red when I emerged through the trees to find Edward on top of my precious Isabella. I ripped him off of and took no time in dismembering him. I couldn't believe that my first companion in this would have done something so despicable. I turned around from the burning pieces of my former son, to fine my Bella stood half naked in the arms of Rosalie. Her face held a vacant expression as she stared into space. I raced over to her and put my tuxedo jacket around her. I pulled her into my arms and held her to me tightly, never wanting to let go. "Bella?" No response. "Bella? Look at me." He dead eyes shifted to lock onto mine. I could see the utter despair there and it tore me apart knowing that I wasn't there to help her sooner. "What happened? What did he do? Did he…" She lowered her gaze and tried to move out of my arms.

"She's feeling very unworthy, Carlisle. Degraded. I think we all know what he did." Jasper said from behind me. Bella flinched in my arms as Jasper said this. She still continued to try and retreat away from me.

"Perhaps I should take her to get cleaned up." said Rosalie as she moved closer to Bella. I reluctantly let go, wanting to keep her by my side at all times, but I knew that if anyone knew anything about this kind of situation it would be Rosalie. I slid my finger under Bella's chin and raised her head so that she would look at my eyes.

"No matter what happened or whatever will happen, remember that I will always love you. You will always be perfect to me. You are my reason for existing. And I will be forever by your side. I make no sense without you, my precious Isabella. Forever and always, I will love you for eternity." He eyes filled with venomous tears that would never fall as her tiny body shook as she sobbed in my arms.

Bella's POV

I had never felt so degrade in my life. _He_ made me feel so dirty. _He_ took away my dignity. I'm glad he's dead. But I never thought that Carlisle could be so forgiving after what had happened. I know it wasn't entirely my fault but I should have been able to push _him_ away. But when Carlisle stood with his arms around me professing his undying love for me I knew that he was better than I gave him credit for. I should never have doubted his feelings for me. This was my soul mate after all. Who I loved beyond all words. "Bella go with Rosalie, she will get you cleaned up. I will be waiting when you've finished." He said before planting a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Remember that I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered, before turning to Rosalie and following her back to the house. She lead me to the bathroom upstairs and ran a hot bath for me, not that the temperature mattered. I removed Carlisle's jacket and climbed in sinking below the water line. When I surfaced, I saw that Rosalie was sat on the cupboard next to the sink with a far off look on her face. I grabbed a flannel and started to scrub at my dirt covered skin, scrubbing at bits that weren't even dirty, bits that were touched by _him_.

"I remember doing that." Rosalie whispered as she was still staring into space.

"What do you mean?" I replied. She turned to face me and looked at me with such a look of sadness that I almost forgot my situation.

"I take it that you don't remember what I told you not long before the battle with Victoria's army." I felt guilty at not being able to remember and this must have shown as she then said, "It doesn't matter, most things are forgotten during the change. I was engaged to Royce King when I was alive. I was madly in love with him, or the idea of love. One night I was leaving a friend's house late when I saw Royce with a group of men. They raped me and beat me to within an inch of my life. Carlisle smelled all the blood. I thought he was helping me, but he changed me. I got my revenge on them all. One by one. I saved Royce for last. So that he knew I was coming for him. I'm basically saying that I know what you are going through. And I wish that I had someone there for me that could have talked me through it. So I'm here for you. I don't want you to go through this alone. I know that the whole family is here for you, especially Carlisle, but I can talk through this with you as I actually understand how you are feeling. I know we have had our differences in the past but we need to set them aside. I want to be there for you in a way that no one was there for me. If you have any questions at all then ask me."

I was completely shocked by how much Rosalie had just said and by the actual ordeal that she went through all those years ago. "I just feel so dirty. I've scrubbed my skin and I still can't get rid of the feeling of his hands all over me."

"I know what you mean." She jumped off the cupboard and moved towards me. She sat next to the bath on the floor and continued, "it was my human skin that was tainted but I still felt dirty when I was turned into a vampire. Just the memory of all their hands was imprinted in my mind. It took a while to get over. Knowing that they couldn't do it to another girl helped a lot. But to be honest, Emmett is the one that helped the most. When he came into my life, my past became bearable. He showed me that I was worth loving, and I wasn't the piece of trash that was tossed aside and left to die. Carlisle will help you through this. He loves you and will take care of you." Rosalie reached for a towel as I stood up and got out of the bath. I toweled myself down and moved into mine and Carlisle's room. I heard the chatter coming from downstairs.

"I wonder where she went."

"Do you think she's ok?"

"You don't think she's ran away with Edward do you?"

"Do you want me to ask everyone to leave?" I turned around to find that Rosalie had followed me.

"Ordinarily I would have said yes, but they will only talk and my mum and Charlie will worry. Do you think that you can do my hair? I need to get ready to go down again. I have to try and enjoy the rest of my wedding. Just stay by me please." I pleaded.

"I will. I promise." I sat down on the stool at the vanity as Rosalie dried my hair and quickly it. She quickly applied some light make-up and said that I was ready. I raced into my wardrobe to find something to wear. I found a white short dress with one black strap that had black flowers on it and a black belt around my waist. It was so beautiful and would be acceptable as a wedding dress. I hurriedly put it on and picked out a pair of black heels before returning to Rosalie. "Wow, you look so beautiful. You'd give me a run for my money." I giggled at her comment.

"Shall we?" I pointed to the door. She then looked a bit concerned.

"You're sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes I am. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I need some good memories of today to blot out the rest."

"If it gets touch much just tell everyone that you are tired and are going to bed."

"I will. Don't worry." I linked my arm through hers and we descended the stairs and walked through the house and out into the back garden. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at me. Then everyone started whispering again.

"What's with the new dress?"- Jessica, what a bitch.

"Why wouldn't she have me?"- Mike.

"So maybe she didn't run off with Edward."- Jessica.

Mum and Charlie ran up to me. "Where were you?" Charlie asked. "What did Edward want?"

"He just wanted to show me what I was definitely not missing. And then I changed my dress as this one is easier to dance in. I need to find Carlisle." I spied him across the room talking to Jasper. He had a happy look on his face but his eyes showed his true sadness and torment. I floated across the room towards him, his eyes lighting up slightly when he saw me approaching him. He walked towards me and met me in the middle of the dance floor. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls began to play as Carlisle wrapped his arms around me and began to dance.

"Are you ok? Are you sure you want to be down here?" he whispered in my ear.

"I have to be here. I need to enjoy the rest of our wedding, or he has won and I won't allow that."

"I love you so much, Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen. Forever and always."

**A/N: Well there you go guys. That was a really hard chapter for me to write I hope it was worth the wait =]**


	8. So Far Away

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the twilight characters.**

**Sorry about the long delay between updates. I've had a serious case of writers block and haven't had any inspiration to write. Hopefully I can overcome this fully and update regularly. Thanks for sticking with me =]**

Chapter 8 - So Far Away

Last night was the best and worst night of my life. I married the man of my dreams but was defiled by the man of my past. My wedding went on for hours after the incident and I was grateful for the distraction. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. The memories of _his_ violation of my body were something that my vampire mind would never allow me to forget. I had to move on, but was unsure how to. How can I move on with someone so angelic, kind and caring as Carlisle, now that I have been dirtied? Rosalie has hardly left my side since it happened and I am constantly reminded by how strong and supportive she is.

"You can do this, Bella. You're stronger than I ever was." Rosalie said, as she noticed my eyes on her.

"I just want to be able to forget. I want to get through this. I want to be good enough for Carlisle. I feel like I'm not worthy of him. I know it's stupid because I know how much he loves me, but I can't help but feel dirty."

"You won't ever forget what happened, but you just have to push it to the back of your mind and get on with your life. I think perhaps you and Carlisle should go away for a while. It might help you to clear your head. I will always be at the end of the phone. But I think a fresh start is what's best for you at the moment." I stood up from the settee that I was sat on and moved over to where she was standing.

"Thank you, Rosalie. I don't know what I would have done without you these past few hours." I pulled her into a hug. She awkwardly wrapped her arms around me.

"It's Rose to my family, Sister." I pulled back and saw the smile on her face. I hugged her again before running off to find Carlisle. I stood in the door way to his study and watched him with his head in his hands looking completely helpless. I moved over to him and stood behind him before I wrapped my arms around him. He leaned back into his chair and pulled me down into his lap.

"This isn't right." I shrank away from him and tried to stand up. I knew it was too good to be true. How could he want me after I was tainted so badly? He pulled me back down into his lap. "That's not what I meant, Bella. It is I that should be comforting you not the other way around."

"I want to leave Forks. Rose suggested that you and I leave for a while." He seemed to mull this over for a second before saying,

"Have you any thoughts of where you want to go?"

"Somewhere without lots of people." He sat silent but it didn't take him long to think of a destination.

"I know just the place. Go and pack your things. I'll get the tickets. We'll leave as soon as we can." I raced to my room and pulled my suitcase into the walk in closet. I picked out a whole range of things as I didn't know where we were going. I changed out of my dress and put on a pair of jeans, a black tank top and my converse. I carried my suitcase downstairs and waited at the door for Carlisle. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper slowly filed into the room.

"Do you know where you're going?" asked Emmett, a sad look on his face, probably wanting to come along.

"No idea, Carlisle just said to pack and I have done. I just want to get out of here."

"Well just know that we'll miss you, and can't wait for you to come back." said Alice. I smiled and pulled them all in for a group hug.

"Are you ready?" I heard Carlisle say from the outside of our huddle. My family released me and I nod my head at my husband.

"I'll see you guys." I say as Carlisle takes my hand and leads me outside to his Mercedes. He puts the bags in the boot as I climb in the car. He joins me and starts the car, waving as we drive off into the night.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"It was supposed to be a present, a honeymoon for us but I think it's more of a retreat for us now. Somewhere that we can just disappear to for awhile.

"Where is it?"

"Isola Bella, an island in The Bahamas. It means beautiful island. I thought a beautiful woman needs a beautiful island." I couldn't help but smile at his compliment.

"It sounds perfect. I can't wait to get there."

**Sorry, this chapter was a bit of a filler. The next one will be when they arrive on the island.**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter XD**


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